No-show Nelson

It was fun an games today at Melbourne University as rumour spread of a visit from the education minister, Brendan (half-)Nelson. As if the rumours were of a visit from Elvis himself, there was a ripple of excitement which passed through the student body. Left-wing students put up posters of the minister, urging us to interrupt his plans to address a group on his plans to destroy university education (well he probably wouldn't phrase it that way).

By 12:30pm, the protesters were out in force, with ill-fitting t-shirts and a megaphone as the means of persuasion, and even a Channel 10 camera along for the ride. By 12:45pm, however, things were looking a little shakey. Alas, it was revealed, the minister was never scheduled to visit the University, and no one beyond those protesting against it were aware of any planned visit. Do'h. So desperate were the protesters to have not wasted an hour of their life boxing at shadows that a bad bit of street theatre involving a giant pair of scissors was staged. Something about Nelson wanting to remove a testicle off every student to pay for their education. Or something like that.

Still, the fact that a noisy protest was staged and the minister failed to materialise means that the protesters can technically claim that it was a success. Using this logic, they can also claim to have successfully kept the campus free from Osama bin Laden, George Bush and Delta Goodrem.

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